Friday, August 20, 2010

Why should it matter to a guy that i wouldn't date him, if he doesn't have feelings for me?

i have a best guy friend, that I've known from work for about a year now. we would go on breaks all the time, text daily, flirt, joke around, tease eachother, bump into eachother, touch each other and so on. people have thought that we were in a relationship, even though he has a girlfriend with someone else.

he acts jealous when other guys talk to me, or when I mention to him about a guy. he doesn't ever talk about his girlfriend. recently, we went through a phase. and I don't even know or understand how it happened. that he suddenly said that I was trying to break his relationship up, which he knew I would never do that to him or anyone else!

we stopped talking in june, and sometimes he'd message me on MySpace annoying me and accusing me of stuff I never did. he got mad that I told him that I wouldn't date him if he was the last guy on earth, and won't stop going on about it. then, after a month 1/2 of not talking he wants to start over. %26amp; now after we started over, he won't stop going on about it!

why should it matter if I wouldn't date him? he has a girlfriend!

plus he accused me of trying to break his relationship up, why should it matter!?

plus during the month we weren't talk, he was snooping on me at work (had one of his friends snoop in my department) and would keep checking my conversations with my friends on MySpace!

why should it matter!? what is up with his behavior! please help!

why would he tell me he doesn't like me but goes on about why i wouldn't date him? is he lying about his feelings?

**admittedly, I do have feelings for him. but I don't want to mess up our friendship. he is the only guy I am really comfortable around.

he and i would go on breaks together, touch eachother, tease eachother, he'd bump into me, and i would bump back into him. we would text from early in the morning till late at night. he'd stare at me, and wait for me to finish talking to someone so he could talk to me. he liked playing with my hands, and so on and so fourth.Why should it matter to a guy that i wouldn't date him, if he doesn't have feelings for me?
Well I think there is something there. You know how you feel towards him but he doesn't want to admit what he feels. But if he is not men enough to tell you how he feels you don't need him in your life. He probably doesn't want to mess up the friendship. I think you should tell him I am only your friend and if you want to be more than friends then just let me know because you will be confused if he is your friend or just jealous because he wants to be with you. Sometimes it takes for you to try something to see if you like it. So try that. If it doesn't work then it wasn't worth it. Good Luck.Why should it matter to a guy that i wouldn't date him, if he doesn't have feelings for me?
He wants you but he doesn't want to break up with his girlfriend. He also sounds like a cheater, so be prepared.
The guy likes you.....hes just a bit insecure about it.
He is not in love with you. He thinks you are hot. Because you flirt back he thinks he can get with you. When you talk to other guys he feels like his chances are getting slimmer plus he wants you for himself. If he loved you he would leave his girlfriend and pursuit you. Personally I think it's just an Obsession.
Guys don't have best female friends, at least not for long...

They always fall for this one has for you...

And forget that saving the friendship crap,.... you can't go back to the way it was, all you can do is go forward...
It sounds to me like he did like you but if he didnt think you were willing to date you then he tied to hold back those feeling for you. but when he finally figured out that chances were nothing would happen. I think he is making up reason to turn his love for you into anger so it will go away. he is trying to make you the enemy so he doesnt have to feel that hurt anymore. if you do like him you need to tell him. not to be a homewrecker but it sounds like he likes youmore and keeping his girl around so he wont be alone.

good luck
talk to him in a professional manner i know is, tell him whats bothering you so that it will not uncomfortable seeing everyday at work not talking to someone you care as a friend...

How to flirt flirt flirt?

II really like a guy who serves me at the supermarket. I've been chattin to him a lot at his work last few months but it never goes anywhere. Cause i'm hopeless at flirting!! I also knew him through friends, a few yyrs ago. And we 'used' to text, he doesn't text anymore.

SO how can I flirt with him? or somehow make it very pleasant so he likes me a little more each time? We are over 19.How to flirt flirt flirt?
Ask if he is married or engaged? If he isn't seeing anyone right now tell him you aren't seeing anyone either and maybe we could do something together this week-end if your not busy. Roller skating, horse back ridding, a movie etc. Even go to church if he frequents services? You have to break the ice, small talk is part of his having a public relations job. He has to talk to customers to keep them coming back to shop. However, what your shopping for isn't on the counter. If you have been talking to him for a few months then you should know what he likes and doesn't like and things he may like to do. If you do know what he might be interested in, you can drop a hint that you are going to do (whatever) over the weekend would he like to join you? It hasn't been much fun doing everything alone, etc. Be creative, he isn't putting two and two together so maybe you are being to subtle in your approach. Good Luck.How to flirt flirt flirt?
give him a cookie
Listen to god.

But really, just smile and giggle alot.

He'll get the picture
Give him your body ..........
send him your snap and ask his snap in return
lolz. if he works at the chekout in the supr market and hes ova 19 then he needs to get a real job. also just do that **** they do on movies where they bite there lip. lolz. just gammn. just ask him out

What is the problem here?????? (guy issue)?

I met this guy at work, 7 months ago. We do have an age difference (I'm 29, he is 22) but we became fast friends, going to lunch together, he would call and text me all time. We had this crazy physical chemistry and he claimed to be single but at the time said he had some ';stuff'; going on with an ex. I don't know the full details, if they were fully together or not, but him and I didn't go out, outside of work. But he would flirt with me like crazy (telling me I was hot constantly) and than the sexy text messages started (sexting), I thought he was at least sexually interested. But he never tried to get together outside of work. Maybe he just liked the fact than an older woman, liked him, I don't really know. I ended up leaving that job and stopped contact with him, just because of the mixed signals. A few weeks after I left, I found out that he did have a girlfriend the entire time. I was pretty upset, so I did a pretty immature thing and emailed her through facebook. I told her that her boyfriend was claiming to be single and had been calling me nearly every night for almost 2 months. She just responded by thanking me for the info and I didn't hear from her again.

So last week I go to text a guy friend (who has the same name.) But I texted ';guy from work'; on accident! He responded back within like 20 seconds. After he determined that the text wasn't meant for him, he started texting me, asking me how I was doing and what I had been up to. We have been texting on on and off for a week now. He is single this time, they broke up. I was very surprised that he even wanted to speak to me after what I did. He told me he never meant to hurt me, if he did. After a few days, I realized how much I still ';want'; him. I expressed that I would like to get together in a physical way, he responded that he is very interested in doing that as well. Telling me he always thought I was hot and he always ';wanted'; me. But it seems like the games have began again. I suggested that he come by over the weekend, and he gave me some lame excuse, so I told him if he was all talk, not to waste my time. He comes back with that he does want me and he wants to ';hang out'; soon. ';Soon'; wtf is that? If he isn't interested why tell me he is? I don't know if this is him, playing hard to get..or maybe he is intimidated by the age difference and experience I have over him?What is the problem here?????? (guy issue)?
People have alot of emotions and sometimes confused too but to take time to think and to do the best we can, can be the best. All the best!

This guy...does he like me or is he just playing games?

There is this guy that i am in LOVE with but i am pretty good at pretending im not really interested and just want to be friends. The main reason i act like this is because i have heard from a few people and seen how he tries to act with me that he is kind of a player...when i asked him why people were telling me this, he admitted that it was probably because he likes to flirt and he's a bit of a tease.

He has asked me out three times over the past two months and i keep saying no but i don't want him to stop liking me so i keep going to school looking pretty lol.

he has all these nicknames for me like shaina girl and baby girl etc. and i always catch him looking at me and smiling at me all the time.

he texts me every once in a while and i always text him back but i never out of the blue text him cuz he just answers with yeah or okay my love lol..

i like it but i can't help thinking that he's just trying to get some...i'm a virgin and have never had a boyfriend so obviously it hurts to think that he just wants me for sex and im still trying to figure out if he's telling the truth when he says im a cool girl and he would never do anything i wasn't comfortable with.

in the two months we've known each other, we've had one good conversation. and since that day it's just been little convos here and there on the pool deck and through text.

i had two deaths in my family last week (i didn't really know them too well) so i asked him if he would cover my lifeguard shift cuz he's one too and he was glad to help me out...and he text me later on ';i know we don't talk much but just know i'm always here for you to talk to even if you just need a shoulder....please keep me updated about your family';


does it sound like he's interested in me?

i don't get it...or

Should i just get over this guy?

please help seems like i can trust him but what do you think?



(i'm a lifeguard and he's on the swim team)This guy...does he like me or is he just playing games?
If i were you I'd ask him what he thinks of you if he says i like you ur my babe or something like that for get him cuz he's a player and if he's like I think i like you or i like you alot or something like that then he might not be as people all depends i suggest you get to know him a little more first.This guy...does he like me or is he just playing games?
He might be. Just give him a chance. If things don't work out, its not that hard to end it. When I'm in situations like that, I always go for it. I can't stand the constant wondering what could have happened.

Would a guy who is uninterested do this?

-blush all the time

- stand close/lean into me

-text everyday for a year

-came to a 4-6 hour dance recital

- go on breaks with me alot

- calls for no reason but to push buttons and blow into the phone

-kinda snuggle together

-rubbed my shoulder

-hid in my car with two of our co-workers trying to scare me

-always uses smiley faces and ';lol, hehe'; through myspace and text

-smiles and laughs all the time


-gets ticked and jealous when i bring up about other guys or flirt with other guys

-touches me (thigh, hands,etc)

-grabs my hand and wont let go until i arm wrestle

-finds something to poke my in the face with

-pushes me and bumps into my hips alot

-hits me with a mop

-sticks his tongue at me

my best guy friend does all of that.

we have known eachother for over a year.

he has a girlfriend but he barely EVER talks about her during these 8 months of seeing her and says ';im glad i dont see her more than 2 days a week otherwise id get sick of her';

and she already lives 45 minutes away from him and only see him at church.

* 13 hours ago

* - 3 days left to answer.

Additional Details

we work together so thats how the hitting me with a mop (jokingly) fits into it

12 hours ago

the hiding in my car part was a joke because the two friends who were also part of it (who are girls) they did the same to him.. so it wasnt stalkerishWould a guy who is uninterested do this?
he likes you girl !

How can I get over the love of my life punishing me?

Ok, here is my problem...unrequited love. I am gay. I met this guy 8 months ago who is a Barista in a coffee shop. He is 15 years younger than me. I am 35. He is 20. When we first met I immediately felt a chemistry of sexual attraction. I have excellent gaydar and always have. After getting to know him I believed he was discreetly gay or Bi. I am intelligent enough that I don’t stereotype people ever. I was in the closet until I met him and chose to come out to him thinking he might do the same and want to do something together. On two occasions when we were alone for a couple of minutes, he sent out signals or body language making me suspect he was gay. It was not flirting. He was pulling up his shirt and telling me to feel his muscles and bending down by me closely wrapping his arms around my legs showing me wrestling moves. This is a guy who does not like other people touching him by the way. Another time he was bending over giving me an *** shot then turning around and just staring at me for a few minutes. SO, we have become friends over this 8 month period and I have fallen in love with him. I was silent about how I felt about him until just a few weeks ago. He told me he was not in love with me because he is straight. I have been stuck with the uncertainty of these signals wondering if he was being cruel or just playing hi and low with my emotions. This is a guy who paints his toenails pink and wears them openly with sandals at work, his mom thinks he is gay, tells me when he sees a hot guy saying ‘dude he is hot’... He also tells me he loves the male physique but not in a sexual way because he is secure in his sexuality and has told me he has ****** two other guys 4 or 5 years ago. I think he could be bisexual, but he says your either gay or straight. So he met this woman who is 25. This woman he met is a student psychologist. I have seen a major change in him as if she controls him like a puppy on a leash. He claims after he had sex with her that he definately knew he was straight after having doubts about his sexuality for years. They have been living together for 4 months now. Him and his girlfriend are the only ones I have told I am gay. He promised me he will never tell anyone I am gay. He is really cocky and arrogant now and neglects all of his friends and family. His whole life just revolves around him and her 99% of the time.

Now that he has moved in with her, he brags about the sex marathons and it just kills me. He knows I am in love with him and it pains me to see the two of them together. She also knows that I am in love with him and pours it on thick when they are around me. I have come to know him as my best friend. I feel for him 2 months before she came into the picture. However, he told me he loves me as a friend and that is as far as it will go. He says he is totally comfortable with me being gay. I have accepted this painful reality. He has told me age is just a number and he has lots of friends different ages. So our 15 year age gap is not even an issue with him. This I know for sure. So, I shift to the friendship part of this. I have put 8 long months into this friendship and thousands of dollars I have given to him and lots of great gifts because I truly love him as my best friend. I even give him a ride home after he gets off work all the time only to drop him off at her apartment. I have spent hundreds on gas just driving 20 miles to see him and 20 miles home. I always text him at least 3 times a week or come in to help him close at work and clean up the dirt and filth of the day while he counts the till. He says all his time goes to his girlfriend and I understand that. He said all he has time for me is to just sit and talk for an hour or so. So we sat down and had a long talk which he told me his heart was not in it to be best friends with me and afterwards I became very emotional and broke down and stormed off angry. Every since then he is ignoring me, not answering calls or texts, or anything knowing how bad I am hurting. My heart is broken and I feel so used and alone. Looking back he always accepted my gifts and money but never called me once to do anything friends do or initiated any texts unless it was a question about her. How can I get over this man who I am so in love with and heal my broken split in half heart? This was not infatuation but true love and man does this hurt. Oh, I can’t get him out of my life because he still has a room at a mutual friend of ours house that he has not completely moved out of and wants to keep it as a place to “hang his hat” as he says if he ever needs to. My life has been turned upside down. I can’t sleep or anything else without thinking of him. My heart hurts so bad and I have cried enough tears to fill a lake. It doesn’t seem like he even cares about me as a friend as his omission of silence is so cruel. I am being punished by him for expressing my true feelings and who I am as a human being and it hurts. I feel like a piece of discarded garbage. Please help...NO HATERS...SERIOUS ANSWERS FOR A HURTING HEART PLEASE!How can I get over the love of my life punishing me?
You've asked this question FIVE TIMES in less than a day. I think it is time that you started PAYING ATTENTION to some of the very good advice you have already received.

Right now you are in violation of the community guidelines...…

It's right down there at number 20 in the ';don'ts'; list. Stop before someone reports you.How can I get over the love of my life punishing me?
It didn't work out. Move on. Let it go. Heal. Recover. Get balanced. Give it some time. And, then, go find new love. Think more about who that new love will be than about the love you have lost. Pretend with all of your heart that you are preparing yourself, growing balanced and well for that NEW love waiting out there for you to appear someday. Be as ready as you can for that NEW love.
Mate, you're a stalker!

Get over it. Leave the poor fella alone!!

Your obsession has pushed him away from you. YOU ruined what could have been a normal friendship, by wanting / demanding so much more.
I agree, time is a great healer it's not meant to be. There's always better around the corner. You sound like a generous guy don't waste your money or time. Find someone who appreciates you and will return your kindness and love. You deserve better. If he's unsure of himself let him find out the hard way, maybe one day he'll hurt as bad as you feel now. But.... you'll be with someone new. Chin up , best of luck.
I hate to say this, but though there were some signs that he may be gay, there were also signs he didn't like you like that. Maybe he was bi, but he's found someone that he cares about and is very happy with. I think the only thing you can do is just to move on and try to forget him. It may be hard, but you can do it.

Best of luck.
I'm so sorry - I can 'hear' how broken up you are over this guy. I could tell you he's not worth it, but you won't believe me because you still love him. I don't know if he treated you this poorly on purpose or if he was just thoughtless and careless of your feelings. Either way, the result is the same. I believe you truly love him - but I'm not sure he loves anyone other than himself right now. Maybe because of his youth - or maybe he will always be emotionally immature.

Try to separate from him emotionally - don't continue to call or text him, don't give him any more rides, and don't give him any more money. Of course you will feel wretched when you see him, so don't go out of your way to create or extend those occasions.

Here's to hoping your broken heart will start to heal soon.....
Regardless who you have been hurt by, it will only hurt more if you stick around this guy. Just stop talking to him delete his number and move on. He obviously isnt interested. Sounds llike you threw a lot of money into your relationship in hopes he would see that and maybe feel the same way as you. Money cant buy love. who knows maybe hes gay or bi he may be into this girl for real. just be happy for him and keep on looking its the only way you can come out of this gracefully
  • computer security
  • deleted myspace
  • How can talk to a shy girl when im shy myself?

    I know this girl is kinda shy. But she gives me absolutely nothing to work with when im talking to her. How can i get the conversation going/flirt? (im kind of a shy guy)

    im not shy when girls give me something to work with but no in this case.

    the only time i can flirt with her is over text and i feel like a loser saying that.

    me and my friend are hoping to hang out with her and her friend over break. my friend and her friend have a thing. so i figure if we hang out i can talk to her on a personal level with her still being comfortable.


    whenever she texts me, and i respond, she doesn't.

    example: her-heyy. me-hey, whats up?, no response from her...

    appreciate any advice/ thoughts!

    thanks!How can talk to a shy girl when im shy myself?
    mmmmmm idk man I'm kinda funny that might break the ice, try to make a joke about somethin u have in common mmm an awful teacher or stuff that happen to u idk just try to pull her tongue as much as u can so u can start working on what she says and if ur really desperate about her go ahead and ask er friend she might know somethin. good luck